Famous MS Paintings – “Son of Man”
Author: Tim
As my boring job continues, so does my new hobby! Today’s MS Painting “Son of Man”
Sean Hannity is a Terrorist
Author: Tim
I will now use a logic based proof to show you Sean Hannity is a terrorist.
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Statements |
Reasons |
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1 |
ter·ror noun |
Given. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary |
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2 |
ter·ror·ism noun |
Given. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary |
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3 |
“I want everyone to be scared to death that Obama could be reelected” |
Given. Direct quote from Sean Hannity on the Fox News program “Hannity” 5/16/2012 |
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4 |
“Scared to death” is a state of intense fear |
Definition |
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5 |
“Scared to death” is terror. |
Transitive property (1 and 4) |
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6 |
Sean Hannity intends to use terror to make you vote a certain way. |
(3 and 5) |
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7 |
Sean Hannity is a terrorist. |
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Now, I’m sure Mr. Hannity will object to this post. However, if he had graduated from either of the colleges he dropped out of he would know that my argument is sounder than any he has ever made.
Famous MS Paintings – “The Persistence of Memory”
Author: Tim
My hobby continues! Check out this knock off of Salvador Dali. It’d be way better if I did whatever drugs he was on.
Famous MS Paintings – American Gothic
Author: Tim
And now for a new time wasting hobby! Bordem will lead to many things. Among them, bastardizing true works of art in MS Paint. Without further ado, I present to you – American Gothic.
Keith and the Girl
Author: Tim
You should do yourself a favor and start (continue) listening to this amazing podcast that I am a regular guest on - KEITH AND THE GIRL
They are celebrating their 7 year anniversary this week, so please support them. They are far too kind to me.
Last time I was on, I received a framed picture of the KATGuh Award for “Most Ridiculous Moment” that I was part of.
The awesome picture is compliments of Josh Latta. See more of his amazing artistry here.
This marks the 2nd time I’ve been turned into a cartoon. The first obviously being the unbelievably brilliant Ali Spagnola who designed this site and both of my album covers. Find more of her great work here.
Becoming a cartoon has always been a dream of mine. If any of you are/know artists/cartoonists that want to draw me, I will post and promote you/them on this site with undying support! Help continue to make my dreams come true and simultaneously feed my ego.
President’s Day Video with Ray Devito!
Author: Tim
My good friend/roommate/fellow comedian Ray Devito does a monthly video series. I was his guest this month. See more at www.raydevito.net
Updated Website!!!
Author: Tim
Yaaaaay!!! I finally got off my ass and did some much needed updates to the site.
Now you can see all of the shows I have in a very convenient calendar under the “Events” page.
Also, my latest tweets will appear on the sidebar so there will always be something new for you to check back to.
The Oscars – The King’s Speech
Author: Tim
The King’s Speech
I could care less for this film.
“buuuuuuuut Tiiiiiiiiiiim! Colin Firth was sooooooo great in it!”
I was great in a high school production of “Kiss Me Kate”. Doesn’t mean it was a good show.
Problem number 1. He can read a speech without stuttering. It’s proven 30 minutes into the film. It happens to be the inciting incident. Put some headphones on him. He’ll be fine. Now give me back those 2 hours.
Problem number 2. I spent 2 hours of my life listening to someone stuttering without being able to make fun of them. Oh sure I made several “T-t-t-t-Today Junior” references in my head, but there’s no way King George VI heard me because stutterers don’t go to heaven.
Problem number 3. Why should I care about an inbred figure head? Waaaaaaah! I got picked on by my brother! WAAAAAAAAA! Boo hoo. You’re not Prime Minister. You’re an antiquated poster boy; a meaningless monarch. All of your speeches are done in private. Pay someone else to do them. No one will know the difference.
Problem number 4. I’m supposed to believe that the man who couldn’t stand up to Voldermort can stand up to Hitler?
Eat your cheese, Churchill.
All this being said, Colin Firth will most likely win because of his portrayal of a disabled man (it’s a hack premise for a reason), but you should give it to Eisenberg.
Lost in Translation
Author: Tim
There are so many beautiful languages on this earth – Spanish, Italian, Pig Latin, ut bay sometimes the true beauty is lost when it is taken outside of the native tongue and seen or heard by an immature 23 year old.
For instance, I went to school with a girl of Asian descent named Hei Yu (pronounced “Hey You”) Now, I get annoyed when I hang out with a friend named Tim. I never know which 1 of the 2 possible people the person is referring too. That happens maybe once every couple months. How many times a day do you hear “Hey you!” That’s her full name. Most people just call her “Hei”. Which is even worse. Unless you’re not her, then you never have to remember her name. My trusty “Hey, what’s up?” worked every time.
One kid on my floor was named Semen. I was his RA. I had to make a door decoration for him. That is the only time a college kid has written “Semen” on a dorm room door, because he was required to do so. I could not stop giggling. Hours upon hours of giggling. Even some guffaws now and then. I pulled several ab muscles during that semester.
He was smart enough to go by a different name. Wish I could say the same for this guy
I don’t know about you, but I can’t start my day without some Gizzi Coffee. Mmmmmm. Tasty. Really gets you in the mood to start your day. Once that Gizzi liquid hits your tongue you are ready to go. The coffee shop is located in New York City right by NYU. Those college girls love Gizzi. They lap it up.
How old am I?
But every so often, you get a translation gem. A word or phrase that when translated conveys the true meaning better than the English could ever hope. I give you “Shower Cap”:
Shower caps – the bonnet of the douche.
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